One day little Johnny was walking up a hill pulling his red wagon behind him saying, "F**k this," "F**k that."
The town priest hears this and walks up to Johnny and says,"You shouldn't swear like that, Johnny. God is all around us."
"Is he in the sky?" asks Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest.
"Is he in that bush over there?" asks Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest."
Is he in my wagon?" asked Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest.
"Well tell him to get the f**k out and push!!!"
Thứ Tư, 8 tháng 2, 2017
Thứ Hai, 16 tháng 1, 2017
Bird Jokes
Bird Jokes
Q: What birds spend all their time on their knees?
A: Birds of prey!
Q: What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish?
A: Tweetie Pie!
Q: What do you call a very rude bird?
A: A mockingbird!
Q: Why couldn't anyone see the bird?
A: Because it was in da skies! (disguise)
Q: What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?
A: Jail-birds!
Q: What kind of math do birds like?
A: Owlgebra. Girl: One of my ex-boyfriends sounds like an owl. Boy: Who?
Q: How do you get a cut-price parrot?
A: Plant bird seed!
Q: How do blue jays stay fit?
A: Wormups.
Q: What kind of bird runs the church?
A: A cardinal!
Q: Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?
A: Because he had a very big bill.
Q: How do you get a raven to stop calling?
A: Take away its cell phone?
Q: What do you do if a bird shits on your car?
A: Don't ask her out again.
See more: Animal Jokes
Thứ Sáu, 6 tháng 1, 2017
Chicken Jokes That Are Really Funny
Chicken Jokes
Q: Whats the difference between meat and chicken?
A: If you beat your chicken it dies.
Q: What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
A: "You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours!"
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again?
A: Because he was a dirty double-crosser!
Q: What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken?
A: She kicked the bucket!
Q: What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A: A brick layer!
Q: Why did the chicken go to KFC?
A: To see his brother!
Q: What kind of chicken grows on a tree?
A: Poultry.
Q: Why did the cactus cross the road?
A: It was stuck to the chicken!
Q: Why did half a chicken cross the road?
A: To get to its other side!
Q: Why did the chicken join a band?
A: Because it already had drumsticks.
Q: How do you get a fat chick into bed?
A: Piece of Cake.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
A: He was a double-crosser!
Q: What do you call a crazy chicken?
A: A cuckoo cluck!
Q: What do you call a smelly coward?
A: A funky chicken!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because it is an independent female flightless bird.
Q: Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
A: Because it was stuck to chickens bum.
See more: Funny adult jokes
Thứ Tư, 28 tháng 12, 2016
Llama Jokes Funny
Llama Jokes
Q: What's llama's favourite film?
A: Llamadeus
Q: Who is the llama spiritual leader?
A: The Dalai Llama
Q: What's more amazing than a talking llama?
A: A spelling bee!
Q: Why did the llama cross the road?
A: Because it was the chicken's day off.
Q: What did the camel say to the llama?
A: Let me teach you how to spit.
Q: What did the llama have for dinner?
A: Llama-ables
Q: What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
A: llamanated
Q: What do you call a very fast llama?
A: a Llamagini
Q: What did the pellet say to the llama?
A: Don't eat me
Q: What did they llama say to the blade of grass?
A: Nice knawing you!
Q: What did the llama say to his friend?
A: Is your mama a llama?
Q: What kind of animal does yoga?
A: A Shangri-llama.
Q: Why aren't llamas in rodeos?
A: `Cause they ain't ticklish!
Q: Why did the llama fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead
Q: What's the diffrenece between llamas and alpacas?
A: Alpacas have more dark meat!
Q: What do guard llamas tell their sheep around the campfire at night?
A: They tell each other scary llama stories.
See more: Good jokes for adults
Thứ Năm, 22 tháng 12, 2016
Bee Jokes For Kids That Are Funny
Bee Jokes
Q: Why did the bee get married?
A: Becase he found his honey
Q: What do you call a bears without ears?
A: B's
Q: What do you call a wasp?
A: A wanna-bee!
Q: What's a bees favorite novel?
A: The Great Gats-bee!
Q: What do you get if you cross a bee with a door bell?
A: A hum dinger!
Q: Who is the bees favorite singer?
A: Sting!
Q: Who is the bees favorite pop group?
A: The bee gees!
Q: What is a bee's favorite part of a relationship?
A: The Honeymoon period.
Q: What did the sushi say to the bee?
A: Wassabee!
Q: What do you call a bee that can't stop eating?
A: Chub-bee.
Q: What kind of bee is a sore loser?
A: a cryba-bee
Q: Who protects the Queen Bee?
A: Her Hub-bee.
Q: How many bees do you need in a bee choir?
A: A humdred!
Q. What's the last thing to go through a bees mind when it hits your windshield?
A. Its bum.
Q: Why did the bee go to the barbershop?
A: To get a buzz-cut.
Q: What do you call a bee born in May?
A: A maybe!
Q: What kind of bee can't be understood?
A: A mumble bee!
Q: What do you call a bee that lives in America?
A: USB
Q: Where do bees keep their money?
A: In a honey box!
Q: What do you get when you cross a race dog with a bumble bee?
A: a Greyhound Buzz.
See more: Jokes that make you laugh
Animal Jokes That Are Really Funny
Animal Jokes
Q: What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?
A: A chili dog on a bun.
Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Q: Where do mice park their boats?
A: At the hickory dickory dock.
Q: Where did the sheep go on vacation?
A: The baaaahamas
Q: What do you call a thieving alligator?
A: A crookodile
Q: What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?
A: A watch dog.
Q: What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A: A lawn moo-er.
Q: What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
A: Lilly.
Q: How does a dog stop a video?
A: He presses the paws button.
Q: Why do cows go to New York?
A: To see the moosicals!
Q: What do you call lending money to a bison?
A: A buff-a-loan
Q: What is the snake’s favorite subject?
A: Hiss-story
Q: What is black ,white and red all over?
A: A sunburnt penguin!
See more: Funny animal jokes
Thứ Tư, 14 tháng 12, 2016
Funniest Cat Jokes That Are Really Funny
Cat Jokes
Q: Why did the cat get pulled over by the police?
A: Because it "littered"
Q: What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?
A: An octopuss!
Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
A: Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!
Q: When the cat's away.....?
A: The house smells better!
Q: What is a cats favorite vegetable?
A: As-purr-agus.
Q: Did you know that cats designed the great pyramids of Giza?
A: It was all drawn out on paw-pyrus.
Q: What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A: A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night!
Q: Did you hear about the passenger who had to be escorted off the airplane?
A: She let the cat out of the bag.
Q: Why are cats so good at video games?
A: Because they have nine lives!
Q: What's a cat's favorite button on the tv remote?
A: Paws
Q: Did you hear about the cat that thought she was a dog?
A: She was purr-plexed.
Q: What do cats like to eat on sunny days?
A: Mice cream cones!
Q: What do you call a cat that doesn't use the litter box?
A: A pet project.
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas?
A: Santa Claws!
Q: What kind of car does a fat cat drive?
A: a Catillac!
Q: Why was the cat so small?
A: Because it only ate condensed milk!
See more: Daily jokes
Đăng ký:
Bài đăng (Atom)
