One day little Johnny was walking up a hill pulling his red wagon behind him saying, "F**k this," "F**k that."
The town priest hears this and walks up to Johnny and says,"You shouldn't swear like that, Johnny. God is all around us."
"Is he in the sky?" asks Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest.
"Is he in that bush over there?" asks Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest."
Is he in my wagon?" asked Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest.
"Well tell him to get the f**k out and push!!!"
Thứ Tư, 8 tháng 2, 2017
Thứ Hai, 16 tháng 1, 2017
Bird Jokes
Bird Jokes
Q: What birds spend all their time on their knees?
A: Birds of prey!
Q: What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish?
A: Tweetie Pie!
Q: What do you call a very rude bird?
A: A mockingbird!
Q: Why couldn't anyone see the bird?
A: Because it was in da skies! (disguise)
Q: What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?
A: Jail-birds!
Q: What kind of math do birds like?
A: Owlgebra. Girl: One of my ex-boyfriends sounds like an owl. Boy: Who?
Q: How do you get a cut-price parrot?
A: Plant bird seed!
Q: How do blue jays stay fit?
A: Wormups.
Q: What kind of bird runs the church?
A: A cardinal!
Q: Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?
A: Because he had a very big bill.
Q: How do you get a raven to stop calling?
A: Take away its cell phone?
Q: What do you do if a bird shits on your car?
A: Don't ask her out again.
See more: Animal Jokes
Thứ Sáu, 6 tháng 1, 2017
Chicken Jokes That Are Really Funny
Chicken Jokes
Q: Whats the difference between meat and chicken?
A: If you beat your chicken it dies.
Q: What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
A: "You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours!"
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again?
A: Because he was a dirty double-crosser!
Q: What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken?
A: She kicked the bucket!
Q: What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A: A brick layer!
Q: Why did the chicken go to KFC?
A: To see his brother!
Q: What kind of chicken grows on a tree?
A: Poultry.
Q: Why did the cactus cross the road?
A: It was stuck to the chicken!
Q: Why did half a chicken cross the road?
A: To get to its other side!
Q: Why did the chicken join a band?
A: Because it already had drumsticks.
Q: How do you get a fat chick into bed?
A: Piece of Cake.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
A: He was a double-crosser!
Q: What do you call a crazy chicken?
A: A cuckoo cluck!
Q: What do you call a smelly coward?
A: A funky chicken!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because it is an independent female flightless bird.
Q: Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
A: Because it was stuck to chickens bum.
See more: Funny adult jokes
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