Ferret Jokes Funny

Ferret Jokes Funny

Animal joke 

Q: What do you call a mismatched pair of socks in the wash? 

A: Evidence. 

Q: How do you drive a ferret crazy? 

A: Give him a round litter pan. 

Q: What is a ferret's favorite song? 

A: Dook, dook, dook, dook of Earl... 

Q: How many California ferret owners does it take to change a lightbulb? 

A: Thousands. 

Q: Who is a ferret's favorite president? 

A: John Fitchgerald Kennedy. 

Q: What do you call an ferret with a carrot in each ear? 

A: Anything you want as he can't hear you! 

Q: What did the grape say when the ferret stood on it? 

A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine! 

Q: Why did the ferret cross the road? 

A: To prove to the possum that it could be done! 

Q: When does a ferret go "moo"? 

A: When it is learning a new language! 

Q: Why did the blonde give her ferret a coke? 

A: Because when she was young her parents told her "Pop goes to the Weasel". 

Q: What do you call a ferret that can pick up an elephant ? 

A: Sir! 

Q: What do Muhammed Ali and Bandit the Ferret have in common? 

A: They both know how to duke it out. 

Q: Ferrets favor fashions by which designer? 

A: Alberta Ferretti. 

Q: Who is a ferret's favorite composer? 

A: Ferretric Chopin. 

Q: Who is a ferret's favorite band? 

A: The Ferretones. 

Q: Which ferret became an author of stories set in WWII and after? 

A: Elie Weasel. 

Q: Which high-kicking ferret won the Gold in Tae Kwon Do at the '92 Olympic Games? 

A: Herb Ferretz. 

Q: Who is the ferret Zionist prime minister? 

A: Shimon Ferretz. 

Porcupine Jokes That Make You Laugh

Porcupine Jokes That Make You Laugh

Funny animal jokes

Q: What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? 

A: The pricks are on the outside on a porcupine! 

Q: What do you call an Porcupine with a carrot in each ear? 

A: Anything you want as he can't hear you! 

Q: What did the grape say when the Porcupine stood on it? 

A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine! 

Q: What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? 

A: a porky-pine 

Q: Why did the Porcupine cross the road? 

A: To prove to the possum that it could be done! 

Q: What do you get if you cross a sheep with a porcupine? 

A: An animal that knits its own sweaters 

Q: When does a Porcupine go "moo"? 

A: When it is learning a new language! 

Q: What do you call a Porcupine that can pick up an elephant ? 

A: Sir! 

Animal Jokes That Are Really Funny

Animal Jokes

Animal Jokes

Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?

A: Take away his credit card!

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Q: Why do you bring fish to a party?

A: Because it goes good with chips.

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Q: What would happen if pigs could fly?

A: The price of bacon would go up.

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Q: How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

A: Take away his shovel!

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Q: What did the frog say when he heard “time flies when you are having fun?”

A: Time is fun when you’re having flies!

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Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

A: It gave a little wine!

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Q: Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

A: To hide in a bag of M&M’s.

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel?

A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut!

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Q: Where do fish keep their money?

A: In a river bank!

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Q: What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A: A woolen jumper!

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Q: What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

A: Glass flippers.

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Q: Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

A: Catfish

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Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

A: He felt funny.

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Q: How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A: A phew.

PIMPING RIDES

If you don't know what pimping a ride is, basically it means to fix up a car. So, you'd think that it would be a paint job, overhaul the engine, some new tires -- no, not on MTV. 'Cause on MTV, when we pimp your ride, what we do is we take this piece of sh*t car and put in all this unnecessary crap that should never be in a car. We got a Play Station in your steering wheel; we got smoke machines in the speakers; we got "Rubber Ducky" shooting out of the exhaust pipe!

Funny Cat Jokes For Kids And Parents

Funny Cat Jokes For Kids And Parents

Animal joke 

Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. 

She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces. 

To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. 

She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result-the door bounced back open.

Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said, 

"Ma'am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat."

The Only 10 Cat Puns You Will Ever Need

The Only 10 Cat Puns You Will Ever Need

Corny animal jokes

Q: What did the alien say to the cat? 

A: Take me to your litter. 

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar? 

A: A sourpuss! 

Q: How are tigers like sergeants in the army? 

A: They both wear stripes! 

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep? 

A: A stripey sweater! 

Q: Why is the desert lion everyone's favorite at Christmas? 

A: Because he has sandy claws! 

Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? 

A: 'Pleased to eat you.'! 

Q: Do you want to hear a bad cat joke? 

A: Just kitten. 

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman? 

A: Frostbite! 

Q: What is a French cat's favorite pudding? 

A: Chocolate mousse! 

Q: What looks like half a cat? 

A: The other half! 

DECONSTRUCTING LITTLE JOHNNY

Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher. When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with "duck" he waved his hand feverishly.
The teacher frowned and passed him by. No kids, however, could offer her a solution. Finally she glared at Johnny and called on him.

Johnny put on his devlish grin and said, "An F-word that rhymes with duck is.... fluctuation."
The teacher blurted out, "No Johnny, that's sucks! I'm so sick of telling you what a little frigging a**hole you are!"